Early Morning College Pride

Oh hey there, Thursday.

You sure got here fast.

Not that I’m complaining. Quite the opposite, really. It’s been a pretty fabulous week so far and I’d like to see the trend continue until the weekend gets here.

I mean- who’s really going to complain about a 4-day work week?

Not this chick.

However, the week flying by also means I’ve had my fair share of being busy.With good things, obviously. My company’s mini staff outing to Wrigley Field was yesterday! And I’ll be darned- they won!

Even a Cardinals fan can appreciate the beauty that is Wrigley Field. Along with the endearing effort the Cubs put into the game. It’s super cute.

And any baseball or sports fan can appreciate a cold brew while watching a game on a breezy spring afternoon in the company of good people.

Did anyone else realize this may be the smartest idea ever for transporting your beer from stand to seat? Spill guard. Not just for kids.

Is it weird that my boss and I hit a Whole Foods Salad Bar beforehand for lunch? It’s like we understand each other.

However, don’t think I was all fun and games yesterday. Just because it was a short day in the office, that doesn’t mean I was slacking off. The day started with a 5-mile early morning run.

How it became 5 miles? No clue. Because it started off with the mindset of 4. Usually the opposite happens where I have high hopes for 5 but end up at 4. Weird.

Guess I was in good spirits all around?

The only weirdness in my workout was something that has happened a number of times, but I’ll never get used to. As a former University of Missouri graduate, I have about a million old college tees that have been phased into my workout wardrobe. Which reminds me, I’m running low- so if you’re thinking of an early birthday present for me, I’m a size small. Please and thank you.

Anyhoo… where was I?

Oh yes. So I was running. And minding my own business. Very much zoned out. Jamming to the tunes. Enjoying the weather.

la la la…

“M-I-Z”

Loud. And in my face.

Gah! What? Did my heart just stop? Gah! How does he know? Omg- that scared me!Gah!

Oh yeah. The shirt I have on.

Like I said- nothing new. But when this happens at 5:30 in the morning? When I’m in the zone? When I’m sans coffee?

Go Mizzou. Obviously. But take it down a notch, dude. It’s still early. And you just woke up everyone on the block.Ah. Now there’s my coffee.

Much MUCH better.

“Z-O-U!, buddy. Z-O-U!”

Sigh. Sometimes I really miss college.

And because I’m feeling social, what’s your current/former school’s favorite battle cry?

Weekend Blurs

Welcome back to the grind, my friends!

Over lunch yesterday, my mom made the comment, after discussing my upcoming month or two, that I don’t get much downtime.

This could not be more true.

Would I have it any other way?

You caught me on a good day. So I’d say no.

Memorial Day Weekend could be considered yet another blur to add to the long string of blurs that is my life.

It included, but was not limited to:

1. Running late to catch the train due to issues with the el, turning me into a starving, anxiety-ridden fool before finally collapsing into my seat. And forcing me to purchase food on the train.

Some may say the $5 beer was unnecessary. I would say it was the tastiest part of the meal.

Anywhere else, I should have been able to get a steak dinner. On amtrak? Turkey sub with cheese. No lettuce.

At least they offered to zap it in the microwave for me. What service!

2. Having the friend with the least sense of direction pick me up from the train station in downtown St. Louis. She knows who she is.

3. Good food lovingly barbecued by my friend Mary’s hubby.Considering he has a strict policy of not eating anything green, he was very considerate of our attempts to be healthy before shimmying into our summer dresses for the first time of the season.Actually, considering how we revert to our giggly college selves, the time we take to get ready, and our squealing demands for fourth meal drive thru, I am quite convinced she must pay him off before our arrivals.

3. A trip to the pool cut short because the triple digit temps made us sure we started to cook on the inside.

4. Two trips to Panera for “morning after reenergizing”.

Chocolate chip bagels. On a lazy weekend morning, they’re the best thing created since sliced bread. Wait…

Excuse me- I forgot where I was for a moment. It’s St. Louis Bread Company there, still. Duh.

5. Family time on Sunday with my parents who were gracious enough to drive up to meet up during my days in St. Louis.

And feed me.

The salmon was served with wasabi aioli sauce. Best idea of all time.

They’re the bestest. That, or they just really like having an excuse to visit their version of a vacation house:I don’t personally enjoy gambling. But yet I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time hanging out in casinos.

Can’t hate on comped rooms. Or the buffets. Or the breakfast.

The Falcon is a diner within the casino that has the “breakfast quesadilla” on their menu. The green chilis involved in the scrambled eggs were legendary.

6. My only workout was spending 30ish minutes in the sad excuse of a workout room at said casino (I get it- they’d rather have us gamble), but being ok about it because my parents and I walked for miles and miles.

6. Enjoying the not-so-melty weather on monday by spending some chill time downtown St. Louis at Union Station.I even fed the fishies with the rest of the kids!

- “Delay” was the favorite word of the conductors on the amtrak train home. Seems to be all my trips end in cancellations, delays, bad traffic, and, of course, a stabby Amy. I guess every awesome weekend comes with a price.

And every awesome weekend sadly had to end. Considering this one was thrown together on a whim (“holy crap guys, it’s a $40 round trip, are you gonna be around?!?! I’m booking this!), it was one for the books.

And besides- I’ll spend time resting up next weekend…

That sound you hear is everyone who know me laughing as hard as they possibly can.

Because You Requested It

Or because one person did.

I’m looking at you, Tiff.

But, after poking fun at a few certain search terms to get to my blog on Wednesday, I decided we’re due to analyze a few of the better ones.

Come join me!

1. “Ryan Gosling Eating Ice Cream”

Ok. So I understand I’ve posted a few times about Ryan Gosling. So I often get the “hey girl” search terms. But eating ice cream? Is there something erotic about this that I’m missing? Because I’ve gotten this one quite a few times.

(Source)

I don’t get it?

2. “What’s worse- marshmallow fluff or mcdonalds?”

In my humble opinion, that is like comparing apples to oranges. And, again in my humble opinion, they are both awesome. However, if you’re considering dinner, please don’t go solely with the fluff. Please.

And maybe throw in a McSalad.

3. “I don’t have a drinking problem.”

I don’t either! Congrats to us both!

4. “I’m a person who likes to spend time”

…? You gonna finish that thought? Spend time doing what? With your family? Napping? Taking long walks on the beach? Staring at the stars on a warm summer night? You’re so vague and mysterious! And frustrating! Clearly I’m attracted to you now. Call me maybe?

5. “Scabies Fun”

Last time I checked, scabies was not fun. From what I’ve heard, it’s actually quite unpleasant. Maybe you need to google this one some more.

6. “Moist Baked Oatmeal”

Alright, buddy. If I promise to give you the recipe for baked oatmeal that I’ve used in the past, would you never say that other word again? You’re grossing me out. 

Please and thank you.

Click HERE for the recipe link.

7. “Need to go to the store but I already took my bra off.”

I hear ya, sister. My advice? Wait until tomorrow.

8. “Jason Segel”

This is no surprise. I talk about how awesomely sexy he is on the regular. I’m just waiting for him to google his own name and stumble across my humble blog.

Call me DEFINITELY.

So there ya go, kids. Some mindless reading for the start of your extended weekend.

And wait- I’m not done yet. Here’s something pretty to look at (other than Ryan Gosling):Ooohhhhh…aaaahhhhhhh.

Stumbled across some pretty sidewalk art on a walk the other day. Another reason why I love spring- everything just becomes more cheery…

Speaking of cheery, I’m super excited to be packed and am counting down the hours until it’s time to leave the office and jump on the first train outta the Chi!

Laters, kids! Have a good Memorial Day Weekend!!

Break It Down

3: cups of coffee necessary to get me out the door and through the morning at the office.

2: times that I push “repeat” on my ipod for “Time of My Life” by Pauly D ft. Dash. It’s my latest and greatest of songs I intend to overplay and kill. But for now, I love you Pauly. Yeeeaaaah buddy.

4: comments on how healthy I am to eat salad almost every day for lunch. Yes, it’s salad. Yes, I’m somewhat healthy. We established this the first 50 times you said it. Why the need to comment? Every day? Really?

5: games of Scramble with Friends played while eating mentioned salad for lunch. I’m sort of in love with that game. I’ve had an iphone for all of 5 months and am obsessed. It’s scary.

1: large cup of hot tea to go with my plundering of the “Candy Wednesday” bucket. There’s a good chance I would be classified as “addicted to caffeine”.I may also be “addicted to candy”. But this is something you already knew. So we won’t dwell on it.

1: comment on how “bad” I must feel for eating mentioned candy. Healthy balance, guys. Learn it. Live it. Love it. And pass me another Heath Bar, please.

8: curse words from my mouth while sitting in traffic. Give or take 20 if there is game traffic or an accident.

And there was traffic last night.

At least it’s contained to my own personal motor vehicle, right? Glass half full.

15: Number of times the radio station will be switched as soon as Adele or Rihanna comes on. Sorry girls, I didn’t ruin it, so much as every single radio station in the country did. Overplayed and over it. Time to play some more Pauly D…

3.7: miles ran. Feel good and fist pump my success because I was listening to Pauly D’s song again. Feel especially celebratory after sneaking in some lunges and squats via Jillian Michaels.

The squats are probably what made me go “ugggghhhh” when getting out of bed this morning.

1: can of tuna made last night’s dinner possible.

Food options are scarce as I am currently playing the “let’s clean out the refrigerator” game before leaving for the extended weekend. Luckily, I still love to put hot sauce in everything. Buffalo tuna sandwich. Again. 

It tastes better than it sounds. Promise.

It also tastes better than it looks. This could be my ugliest dinner in a long time. And yes, I accidentally burned the sandwich thin. Took me way too long to figure out what the source of the burning smell was. I should probably never live alone ever again…

6.5: hours of sleep had. The beginning of summer heat is always a hard transition for me and my top story room. No worries, though. We’ll get used to it.

And here we are on this fine Thursday morning.

Rinse and repeat.

800th

Do you know what today is?

No? Well. It’s a big day for my lil’ blog. I don’t celebrate “blogversaries” and such because, well, I don’t really have one. Sure, there’s the first post ever. But the focus changed. I took a hiatus or two. The focus changed yet again. Another hiatus.

My point is I don’t have an exact “date” as to when the Second City Randomness you know (and love- obvi) came to be.

HOWEVER…

I’m all about celebrating milestones and such. And today is my 800th post. Which seems like a SUPER big number.

It’s a good time to say thank you. Thank you for coming back on a regular basis. Thank you for understanding my crazy. Thank you for every comment, email, tweet, and even to a few of you who have stopped me in the streets. It’s awesome and I am so happy to have this outlet to share and discuss things with every one of you.

But because I break out in hives when things get overly emotional, I should probably stop now. I just want you to know I mean it- THANK YOU.

Anyway, how ironic that today’s celebratory post will include what I did on a Tuesday.

I still hate Tuesdays. And it turns out I’m not alone. Look at the top search terms for my blog yesterday:

Not sure what that 6-inch difference thing is all about (and maybe I don’t want to know?), but when I see the top terms are about Tuesdays, I know you guys totally understand me.

Anyway, this Tuesday I found myself out in the ‘burbs dealing with some car maintenance. No biggie, but it left me with some time to kill afterwards to avoid the evening rush hour traffic back IN to the city.

Rush hour is no joke, guys.

Luckily, I have friends who also occasionally have time to kill.

Mon and I took to a path along the lake near our old apartment complex and went on a run that lasted about 1.5 miles before we succumbed to slowing down to a quick walk and gossiping for the rest of the 4-mile adventure.

Funny thing- this wass the first time we’ve ever ran together. Sure, we’ve been friends for almost three years now. And yes, we both like to workout. And we both really like running. We just never have together. Strange.

Afterwards, I insisted on going to Jason’s Deli. It’s quick. It’s delicious. And there’s not a location near my new place, so I really miss it.

It’s like the salad I make at home. But better because croutons are involved. And a lil’ pasta salad on the side… and hummus… So really, it’s just better.

Some of the reason I miss it may be because there’s free soft serve with the salad bar. If you so choose…

My car got a spa treatment. I got a gossip fest with a side of exercise. My stomach was happily fed. And, most importantly, I missed rush hour traffic when heading back into the city.

It may have not been a super exciting Tuesday, but hey- it wasn’t completely awful, either.

Success.

Sweatin’ It (Out)

It’s a really good thing I saved my feet by wearing flip-flops all weekend.

Because after more than my fair share of this…

And also endless lunch leftovers from cooking Bailey’s Birthday Brunch…

Bailey loved it when we made biscuits and gravy for champagne brunch a few months ago. We used her birthday weekend as an excuse to make it again…

I was more than ready to hit the gym. And sore feet would have been a disasterous set back.

Yes, I was definitely ready. I practically ran to the gym last night with open arms. Because that feeling of detoxing your system with a solid sweat session?

It ranks pretty high on the list of feel good moments. Sorry- workout nerd moment.

Because it makes me feel awesome, and there’s a solid chance I’ll be spotted in a bikini this coming weekend, I spent a few extra minutes doing various cardio in an ADD fashion.

18 minutes on the stairmill.
1.2-mile RUN. I say RUN because it was an 8:15 pace when the last few treadmill sessions were closer to 8:30′s.
16 minutes on the elliptical.

And because the weight room was a little too crowded for my liking (aka- people were on the whole two or three machines I use), I retreated back home to do some ab work on a yoga mat. In front of the tv. Multi-tasking at its finest.

Yes, I know longer workouts the week of a trip really don’t make that much of a difference in outward appearance.

My friends most definitely won’t look at me and say “well SOMEONE has been spending an extra 5 minutes a few days this week.” Quite frankly, if they did, I may push them into the pool out of annoyance.

But it’s a confidence boost. And if all it takes is an extra lil’ push here and there? I can handle that.

And like I said, it’s all about sweating it out. No matter how you do it. 

Too bad dancing with drinks in hand probably cancels itself out. Because in that case, this weekend we were workout superstars. If you don’t believe me, just ask these girls:

We taught Wrigleyville a move or two.

Or what not to do. Either/or.

After all the dancing activities, we all woke up in the same boat on Sunday morning. Most would have opted for a day of rest.

Us? Oh no…

When our plans to go see our favorite band, Rod Tuffcurls and the Benchpress, for Bailey’s birthday were cancelled due to NATO issues (assumably, crowd control was a safety issue in Wrigleyville on Saturday night), we decided to not let that get us down. As mentioned, we danced ourselves silly elsewhere. And waited patiently for the chance to check the boys out at Mayfest the next day- our first street festival of the season!

Because who doesn’t love an excuse to get outside and hang out in the streets while watching men with naked legs strum the guitar?

So yeah. Another long weekend down. Which means another full week of watching myself a lil’ better.

The vicious cycle continues.

No worries, though. I’m not sweatin’ it. Because the weekend was fun and there should never be regrets about that.

And I’m a weirdo that actually enjoys eating salad just as much as the cake and big brunch.

I don’t get it, either.

No more nights out for me until the weekend. Until then, it’s spending as much time running around outside enjoying the weather and chillin’ at home with the whole gang:

One of Bailey’s birthday gifts was a Tiger Beat magazine. So we now have someone to keep up company when cooking.

And maybe even give us a look when sneaking into the refrigerator for late night snackage.

Winning on so many levels.

Alright, kids. I gotta go. Time for coffee and a little more work on getting this hand stamp from Mayfest to wash off.

It’s like they tattooed it on.

Help!

I Want S’More Please…

I’ve mentioned it before, but I think birthdays are SUPER important.

Especially when it’s a birthday of a family member. A friend. Or the guy in the cube down from you that you don’t care about, but there’s still cake in the break room because of it.

See? Always important.

So when it’s your friend and roommate?

Time to break out the big guns.

Err… mixing spoons.

I decided to switch it up a little with a layer of white cake inbetween two layers of chocolate. Yeah. It’s like a surprise when you cut into the cake…

My roommate Bailey had her special day yesterday. But we’re celebrating tonight. It was a planning and logistics issue.

Since we delayed the start of her birthday shenanigans, that just means we have to be that much more crazy.

Uh oh… is that marshmallow creme I see? Find a good marshmallow buttercream recipe that suits you- there are a million different variations. Or, you could just do what I do. And sub in a jar of this stuff for some of the powdered sugar you would have used…

And I’m not just talking about the dancing we’re doing tonight.

I’m also talking about the birthday cake.

Make the layers even. You don’t want a lopsided mess.

Obviously.

You know I heart quality time in the kitchen. Especially when Bailey says “go crazy with it”.

Chocolate ganache made simply out of whipping cream and chocolate chips. Because what’s a cake without a rich filling?

The beautiful thing is, cakes aren’t really too difficult to make. It’s the assembly part that makes it look hard. But it’s not. 

Just a thin layer of marshmallow buttercream and a few spoonfuls of chocolate ganache on the top of each layer.

Sure, it’s time consuming, but easy.

And your cake is built! I suggest throwing a wooden rod or two in there to keep the layers from falling. And then use your extra icing to fill in the sides to make them smooth and even.

Cake:
1 recipe of your favorite chocolate cake
1/2 recipe of your favorite white/yellow cake

Then use your favorite (or easiest) chocolate ganache and marshmallow buttercream recipes. I usually end up just getting an idea of how to start and do my own thing according to taste.

Finished “dirty icing” the cake. Throw it in the refrigerator so the buttercream hardens a little and you can then go over it with another thin layer of icing to make it all pretty and smooth.

Topping is just marshmallows and graham crackers drizzled with chocolate ganache. Easy Peasy.

Ta da! Sure, it’s not perfect. But I was working under a time crunch, people!

A S’more Cake!

This will be the richest thing you eat all year, so cut small slices. A big one will only leave you with an aching tummy and heart palpitations. Of that I know. Between the perfect chocolate cake, a layer of dense white cake, the chocolate ganache, and the marshmallow buttercream… there are just no words.

Beautiful.

And again, I must stress small pieces. No one wants to receive diabetes as a birthday present.

And in the refrigerator it goes until party time. I’m always weird about leaving buttercream out, so just to be safe, I keep it cool.

Now please excuse me. I have a sink full of dishes to tend to and a run to go on so I can still fit into a sassy lil’ number for tonight’s festivities. Balance. Can’t preach it enough.

Happy Birthday, Bailey! Thanks for being a wonderful friend, roommate, and partner in crime!

Keepin’ it real, yo.

Cheers!

TV Night Comfort

May is a wonderful month. In Chicago, it seems to be the time when people start clawing their way out of their caves to participate once again in outdoor activities

We’re happy to have survived the 7-month winter. Happy to dine al fresco with friends. Happy to expose our glow-in-the-dark skin in hopes of absorbing a little vitamin D. Happy to run outside versus inside the funky-smelling gym alongside the meatheads and cardio queens.

We’re so freakin’ happy.

However, with all this activity going on outside of the home, it’s only natural there are consequences.

Like season finales.

This was the first time I’ve ever tried to make zucchini “pasta”. Or ribbons. Whichev. Either way, the vegetable peeler was involved and it slightly terrified me. I don’t do well with bloodshed.

The last two weeks have been devastating. All my shows are slowly drifting away. And I do not like it. What am I supposed to do all summer without Marshall and Lily? Sheldon? Jess and those three crazy kids she lives with?

It also doesn’t help that many of my finales this year have been absolutely heart-wrenching.

There’s no need to show raw chicken cooking. So I didn’t. But then I took the same pan (sans chicken) and sautéed the artichoke hearts. It’s all about the flava’, ya know?

Seriously- what is that about?

Turns out I had more zucchini “ribbons” than originally anticipated. Lucky for me, they shrank down a little in the pan with the artichoke hearts that had already been cooking up for a few minutes.

I’m not even going to get near what happened in Grey’s last night. Heaven forbid I ruin it for anyone. I’m also a bit embarrassed to admit my groupie status on this one. Thankfully, I wasn’t in it alone because my girls Kelly and Laura sat through it with me via text.

A new wine I tried from Trader Joe’s. Broke it out during the cooking process. Because after my horrid commute, there was no way I going without. Had two sips and realized there was a bad cork and the wine was ruined. Sadness. Thank goodness I had plenty of backup!

But I will tell you viewing the episode required this:

Pretty, yes? A combo of whole wheat pasta, zucchini ribbons, chicken, artichokes and black olives. Plus a little too much parsley. That was an accident…

Pasta and alcohol.

Comfort food and drink. They helped soften the blow. Sort of.

Guys. I am so distraught.

This really was good. And not too different from when I normally make pasta- with fewer calories because a lot of the pasta was swapped out with zucchini!
Too bad I had to enjoy it between waves of nausea. Thanks, Grey’s…. ugh!

Thanks ABC. You’ve RUINED MY SUMMER.

Alright, fine. That’s maybe a bit dramatic.

Thanks ABC. You’ve RUINED MY WEEKEND.

That’s better.

Luckily, I saved some of that pasta for lunch today.

I still need it.

Too bad the wine bottle didn’t also fit in my lunch bag.

What tv shows are you sad to see go for the summer?
Also, if you do watch Grey’s, PLEASE don’t give away too many details. I know a few people who are saving it for the weekend and I don’t want to ruin it for them!!

An Unorthodox Introduction To Running

When I was still in high school and discovering running for the first time, it was quite an unorthodox experience. I lived on a farm down a winding, topsy turvy road full of hills and wilderness, while lacking sidewalks and safety measures.

It’s quite astonishing I stuck with it like I did. And maybe even more astonishing I was never seriously injured in the process.

Naturally, I started with the run/walk routine. As most do. But I don’t remember ever improving. Only running as far as I could to get out of sight of my house, so my parents wouldn’t think I was a big wus, and walking immediately. This lasted until I got to the top of the massive hill that the road went over and I’d run another minute or so as to not spend too much time tempting fate while on a ridiculous curve.

There was a river access past our house, so I was forbidden to run during the weekends due to the idiots hauling boats and going 60 mph on a curvy road they’ve never driven before. Now that I think about it, most people drove it that fast and shouldn’t have. I was an open target on the side of the road at any hour of the day.

My music consisted of a sad fm/am walkman that only got reception in certain areas. I had to pretend it was a DJ mix of N*Sync slowly morphing into Kenny Chesney then into static then into Third Eye Blind then back to more static.

And watch out for the neighbors’ dogs! The ones you always heard going crazy as they were penned up behind the house. But sometimes, just sometimes, they were running around loose. This forced me down to a cautious walk (if I wasn’t walking already). Any sudden movement and they would surely bite my face/arms/legs off.

Then there was the off-chance you’d pass someone else walking/running. Stop immediately. Talk about the weather. Family. Neighbors (they did WHAT?!?!). The construction in your backyard (because EVERYONE has noticed and wants to know). More about the weather. And back on your way you went.

This entire experience was probably a 30-minute ordeal and maybe 4-5 minutes were spent legitimately running.

No wonder I didn’t have warm fuzzy feelings towards the sport.

Yes, I called running a sport. We can debate that statement at a later time.

But times have changed. Now I willingly get up to run. And am sort of good at it (relative to my highschool days). Chicago is flat. The streets are straight. And have sidewalks. Crosswalks exist. Dogs are leashed. Acknowledgement of fellow runners is done so solely with a small wave/smile.

It’s a more productive and less dramatic experience. Maybe even tranquil when done so in the early morning hours.

Except for when running into random doors. That hurts.

This morning there were no doors. Just me doing my thing in the *almost* perfect weather. For 4.2 miles.

Glorious.

The only bad thing? There are a lot of coffee shops and bakeries. I’m not one to often crave donuts or bagels, but when you’re a couple of miles in and haven’t had breakfast yet? It’s rough. (#firstworldproblem)

And sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder if it would be fun again to run like the dogs were chasing you. Like Phoebe did on “Friends”. You know the one.

Run safe, everyone.

Laters!

Hump Day Randoms

Because my brain is fried today…

1. Early morning workouts haven’t been as awesomely satisfying this week as they have in recent others. Not sure what the deal is, but my snooze button has been getting a little more attention than usual. Which is dangerous.

Maybe my problem is I don’t have a proper wake up call.(Source)

I really need to find a dude who’s willing to do this. So far, the only applicants for the position have driven me slightly crazy or completely weirded me out. Thank you for your consideration, however we are continuing to pursue candidates better qualified for the position at this time.

2. It’s that time of year again. You know what I’m talking about.

That time for the ice cream truck to roam our neighborhood.

*Shudders*

As a kid who grew up on a farm in a 300-person town, I never got to experience this phenomenon except for when we’d go to Kansas City to vist family. It was exciting and fun! Now? I cannot help but be disturbed by the creepy sounding jingle of a truck that calls for children to run towards and willingly follow in hopes of treats. Disturbing.

It also, for one reason or another, reminds me of the Stephen King movie, It. I hear the music. I think of clowns. I freak out. My roommate, on the other hand, could not have jumped out of her seat faster to run to the window and look for the ice cream man. I may have to keep a watchful eye on her through the summer. If she’s killed by a serial-killing clown in a street drain, I won’t be able to afford rent.

3. This puzzle took FOREVER.I know, I know. I’ve talked about it way too much. But it really did consume our lives until about 6:15 yesterday evening when the final piece was put into place. I told you I was having nightmares about this thing, right?

Serves me right for thinking the more pieces the better.

I think our reward for completion should be a trip to the real Las Vegas.

Who wants to fund the cause?

4. Swimsuit shopping is a humbling experience. I would not recommend H&M suits if you need a confidence booster. The reason I tried them on at this particular store is because they’re so cheap. Why not? Quality really isn’t necessary. I just need something that will last a few trips to the beach for a few years and I’m perfectly satisfied.

However, it turns out H&M suits are so cheap because they use as little material as possible. To adequately cover my lady parts, I was getting 2-3 sizes up. And even then I was not comfortable by any means.

I am not prude. But I was tempting fate and possible arrests for indecency had I bought something.

You may say, “Well Amy, why not try something more conservative than a bikini if you’re all up in arms about it?”

Well, I’ll tell you why. Another reason I headed to H&M was because they had a super sexy one piece just calling my name. It looked as if it would cover all necessary areas and still be cute with a deep cut in the front and sides. Fabulous!

No. Being gifted with a long torso does not transfer well in this case. I gave myself a wedgie in the process of trying on said one piece.

Never again.

Pretty sure the swimsuits I already own will be acceptable for another year.

5. I’m still putting hot sauce in everything.

Did you know hot sauce makes tuna wraps better?

Now you do.

Notice the quesadilla maker in the background. I think it’s jealous because it hasn’t been used in a few days. Sadness.

Takeaways from this post?

- Ryan Gosling needs to marry me.
- Stephen King ruined my childhood innocence.
- What was I thinking?!?!
- Nude beaches don’t seem like such a bad idea, after all.
- I still put that s*&! on everything.