I have quite a few irrational fears. Clowns. The ice cream man- which may also stem from the same place as the clowns issue does (I’m looking at you, Stephen King). Walmart after dark. Stepping on man-hole covers on the streets because I’m afraid of falling through.
Just to name a few.
But the most recent one? It came as I became a member of the public transit system.
I absolutely hate these things:
Not the small turnstiles. Those I can manage. Sure, it’s an art to roll your suitcase through one. But I’ve practiced and become semi-decent at the trick.
It’s the tall ones I fear.
Obviously the girl in front of me hates them, too. As shown by her opting for the “emergency exit only” door. You can easily guess which route I took.
I mean… come on.
What if my bag gets stuck? It’ll get wedged between the two turnstiles and I’ll be stuck forever (which is horrific- as an average sized human being, it’s still a tight fit)! Or killed in some crazy Final Destination-style moment. Because my luck will surely run out one of these days.
What if the person behind me pushes too hard? It’ll send me flying out as I get tripped up in the “walk through”.
What if I push the wrong way? Does it still work?
What do tall people do in these things? Or overweight people?
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!
There has got to be a better way.
And until these questions are answered, I’ve learned the various paths of least resistance. Also known as which way to walk off the train at my designated stop to avoid the scary death machine if at all possible. Or only use them at stops that are less populated so I know I won’t be shoved through like cattle.
Although the turnstile I used last night was not spilling people out everywhere, it still gave me anxiety.
We pretend that’s why I needed to be subdued with this:
It’s not the only reason. I also heard the damn ice cream truck coming my way. Had to run a half block with my work bag flying behind me.
Stupid Stephen King movies.
But I’m safe now. The door was deadbolted and continued to stay that way all night. Because I stayed in. Not so much because of my fears (the ice cream man was long gone by the time it got dark), but because it was either have a relaxing night on the couch or meet up with a guy who asked me out on a date and then decided later on to add “bring a friend and let’s go drink our faces off”.
I feel the right choice was made.
Filed under: Random Rants Tagged: | I like wine too much, I'm weird, irrational fears, staying in on a Friday night, wine
The only way the ice cream man could be okay is if he was slinging wine from his janky van with a boombox instead of Rocket Pops. As for clowns…(shudder.) My fear stems from being really little and seeing a Sesame Street skit where this clown took off his makeup. TOTALLY traumatized me for life. Damn that Sesame Street…
Damn Sesame Street is right!
My personal traumatization from that show is the movie where Big Bird got lost and turned blue. No kid should be subjected to such things. It didn’t help that I was staying at my grandparents’ house for the weekend and cried because I didn’t think my parents would come back to get me. Messed me up on so many levels.
Oh Dawson…haha.
I hate those things too – actually any revolving door. What if it malfunctions and I get stuck in there?!?!?!?! What genius came up with that thing? And what purpose does it really serve? The SEPTA stations in Philly have the old turnstile – sure, we’ve all jumped over one in our lives but if the on duty guard isn’t paying attention, its not my damn fault.
Kace, you are my witness- I had reservations from the beginning on that one!
hahaha I feel the same way about those things! especially when your card doesn’t swipe for some reason and the door thing won’t turn, which then causes anxiety of being stuck, etc. haha.
O. M. G.
What even is that?
You are so right. That is a bad Final Destination scene just waiting to happen.
I don’t like the turnstiles either … Or driving over bridges, flying, or escalators .(if stairs are an option, I take them)… Since my latter fears were all in Final Destination movies (reassuring my irrational fears), I would bet my last dollar that the turnstile will find its way into one! Haha!
Oh & thanks to Steven King, I am 33 years old & still have to run & jump into bed for fear that there is a small child under there with a scalpel. ;^)
What is the technical name for those huge deathtraps? Are they still turnstiles? For some reason I always think I’m going to die in those and that the bars have sharp blades and going to slice through me (this right here is why I dont watch horror movies anymore).
I’m always afraid I’ll not be paying attention and walk into those things the wrong way. How embarrassing that would be!
I do not think fear of that machine is irrational at all. It looks terrifying! I can’t even handle regular revolving doors, but those spikes are just nuts. No thank you.
Ummm . . . those things would scare the beejezus out of me. It looks far too threatening, and I could just picture myself doing something ridiculous like getting my foot stuck, and then falling and pushing it forward and then losing a toe or something.
When I was in NYC last month I noticed what a PITA it was for my friends to go around those things when they had their stroller. They had to always go through the emergency exit. And it sucks when there is one for an entrance. One time Steven swiped his pass and did not go through fast enough so it locked up on him! We cheated the system after that (cozy turnstile style).