Teenage girls are a strange breed.
Pretty sure they scare the crap out of everyone. EVERYONE. Their parents. Their teachers. Their boyfriends. Even their other girl friends.
They. Are. Scary.
Emotional. Irrational. Vicious. Dramatic. Whiney.
Every other day is LIKE OMG THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE EVER EVER EVER.
Hopefully I’ve mellowed out a bit since then (er… *cough* 8 years ago…), but the fact of the matter is that I was one.
The teen years weren’t my favorite time of my life, even with my ability to cry at the drop of a hat. But it was bearable enough.
I bake a lot. So when a beater flies apart mid-mix, I don’t even think twice about it. I only cross my fingers I’ll be able to finish the mixing process before the other part of it flies away.
My parents may say otherwise. As the eldest of my brother and I, I took it upon myself to break my parents in. Test the waters. Push the limits.
Annoy the crap out of them.
My mom’s biggest complaint?
“Why do you always have to shut your bedroom door? What’s so secret? Why don’t you spend more time in the rest of the house with the family?”
I’ve never used greek yogurt in cookies before. But it was part of the promise of some of the softest cookies of all time. Is this considered healthifying them? I generally shy away from doing such things, but in this instance, curiousity totally killed the cat.
I think she feared the worst. Maybe I was writing a manifesto. Or smoking crack.
Which is extremely ridiculous. Everyone knows you can’t write a manifesto until you’re at least 21. Duh.
And why would the rest of my family want to hang out with me anyway? I was a moody and high strung teenage girl. I wouldn’t have wanted to hang out with me, either.
Maybe, just maybe, it’s time I give her peace of mind.
The other part of the beater had perfect timing and died right at the end. R.I.P. hand mixer. It’s been a great 2 years.
Tell her what I was really doing behind closed doors.
Let the world know my secrets.
Ok. Here we go.
I was talking to my friends about boys on the phone. Trying on cute outfits for the weekend (because I was going to get to stay out until 11:00!). Putting on makeup.
And I was dancing. And lip syncing. To Britney. And Eminem. And Third Eye Blind. Because I don’t discriminate.
All of this in front of the mirror. Like a total dork.
That, my dear mother, is what I was doing.
Not that exciting.
PUFFY!
That doesn’t mean I didn’t sneak a scandelous top out of the house under what I was wearing or in my purse (the gas station was an awesome dressing room).
That doesn’t mean I didn’t scrounge up a few bucks to split a 6-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade from time to time with, like, 5 other girls.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t end up on a road trip halfway across the state using entirely gravel roads. (Did you know that was possible? I sure didn’t.)
This stuff is ridiculous. There’s plenty leftover and it’s sad how quickly I’ll go through it.
But as for what went on my room?
Singing and dancing. Strictly singing and dancing.
Disappointing, right?
Anyway…
Oatmeal cookies were a standard in my mom’s rotation of baked goods when I was growing up.
Cookie Butter glaze. This is what takes the cookies from good to great. Enough said.
However, she always used raisins in hers. Which are gross. So I’d only eat the cookie dough because the raisins were easy to pick out.
But now that I’m grown up, and sing and dance with no shame wherever I damn well please, I can make oatmeal cookiest without the raisins.
And maybe even add some cookie butter icing. Because I’m feeling spunky.
The recipe I used for the Biscoff-Glazed Soft Oatmeal Cookies was from Bake at 350 and I will have to say she wasn’t kidding- these really are the softest cookies ever!
Look at the glaze… flippin’ everywhere…. sigh…
Maybe next time I’ll throw in some chocolate chips. Because I felt very strange not using any chocolate at all. Especially considering I rarely call it a dessert unless chocolate is involved.
Anyway. Now that you all know my secrets, I must sign off and get a few things done. Like buy a new hand mixer.
Plus I feel my mother may be calling soon about that mentioned road trip. So I should free up some of my schedule.
Oops.
But before I go….
Yeah. I’m just super mean sometimes.
Happy Hump Day!
Filed under: Random Baking, Uncategorized Tagged: | baking, cookies, cookies with glaze, oatmeal cookies, oatmeal cookies with cookie butter, Random, Trader Joe's cookie butter
First of all, those cookies look absolutely picture perfect and like some sort of drippy scone creation I need to face plant into.
Second, I never shut my door when I was a teenager. This could be because I had the basement to myself where there was a computer, TV and radio to dance, talk on the phone and do homework/step aerobics. Needless to say, my mom need not worry that much…
Soft cookies are my weakness! Yum.
And it’s funny that you say you “broke your parents in” because I’m the older one in my family and was super tame/lame. My sister was more like you and tested the waters more often.
Funny how that works. My brother was the tame one when he could have easily gotten away with anything.
Since there’s oatmeal involved they’re healthy, right?! Your poor mixer….I have my grandmother’s hand mixer. I think it’s been working for 50 years or so. It usually smells like it’s going to start on fire, but that’s another story.
They just don’t make them like they used to… lol
These aren’t dessert because, as you mentioned, there’s no chocolate. Which means they are breakfast because there is oatmeal. I think you need at least a few of them.
I never shut my door, because I was a nerd and there wasn’t anything cool or exciting going on in my room. Lame, right?
You’re so right. It’s like a breakfast cookie. This is why we’re friends.
I still lip sync to Third Eye Blind…what do you think that means?
It takes a while to get out of your system. No worries. I still break out semi-charmed life from time to time as well.
Soft cookies are the BEST. My mom’s cookies were always crispy and I was determined when I got old enough to prove to her that soft cookies are the way to go!
My parents never let me shut my door. Obviously, it was the end of the world when I was a teenager…..
Oh, the nights of driving gravel roads in high school…..
I think I just learned of a new cookie to add to the list!
I wouldn’t want to hang out with my teenage self either. Those weren’t my best years, but I survived ‘em… thanks to the help of a little Mike’s now and again.
Haha I love this post. Sometimes I wonder what the statute of limitations is on things I did in high school. Like when will my mom find it funny?
I’m hoping, in my case, it is today.
My god I fear having kids one day just becuase of the emo teenage years. It’s scary. But those cookies are not. yum
Me too. I don’t know if I have the patience to deal with teenagers at the moment.
This post is so funny. I was a craaaaazy teenager. Not bad, just an emotional roller coaster!
Oooh, good call using as a glaze! I baked with it *in* cookies before, and it totally lost its taste.
I’ve done it as a “stuffing” as well. Which I liked better. But yeah… if you bake it in, the flavor is gone.
Oh high school. I’m sure I was a real joy to be around back then. My mom was probably grateful for when I closed my door because it meant no one would have to deal with my crazy.
I woulda thought the same. But nope- got yelled at. :p
I refuse to buy that cookie butter. Refuse. There was lots of dancing going on in my room growing up as well. But the only phone we had in the house was on the wall in the kitchen. So no plotting with girlfriends. Unless we were out on our Schwinn Varsities.
My 11-yr old’s door is already shut. I’m going with dancing.
Yeah. It’s dangerous stuff. Not sure if it replaces peanut butter on my list of cravings, but it’s a nice sweet sub when I need it.
I think we should all bring back the dancing in our rooms thing. With cassette tapes. It would be fantastic.
Mmmm, cookie butter glaze. Thanks, a lot, punk. Now I’m hungry.
What’s a cassette tape? I forgot… lol
I was totally singing and dancing to Belinda Carlisle and Madonna…yeah that ages me. Thanks Amy! I was the more boring teenage girl ever. Those cookies look sinful though!
LOVE Belinda Carlisle!
I usually don’t like peanut butter cookies that much, but I could get into these! I was so un-scandalous in my teen years. Well, until 18 anyway.
Us small town kids… we got a little nuts at college, didn’t we?
Such a scandalous life you led!
Thanks for sharing another amazing looking/sounding baked good. Jealous of your roommate!
I am so making those cookies! I love Trader Joe’s cookie butter – I can just sit and eat it by the spoonful.
I think I was writing cryptic messages in my diary about how I thought my best friend was really a bitch and was always trying to steal my “boyfriends” aka boys I liked but never actually really kissed or technically dated. But all in a way that if anyone ever found it they would NEVER know who I was talking about.
PS these cookies look insanely amazing. COOKIE SWAP!
My mom used to say the same thing about the closed door…I’m sure I’ll be doing it to Maya at some point. Hopefully that’s the extent of history repeating itself but I fear that isn’t the case…
The cookies look fantastic!
Oh my heck, teenage girls are scary! Sometimes, I see them now and I roll my eyes for a minute before realizing I was. no. different. Shoot, I don’t know what I was doing behind my closed bedroom door. I WANTED a phone in my room sooo bad! No dice. Probably making mix tapes from the radio. Thank goodness we (mostly) have grown out of that.
I kind of cringe when remembering my teenage years. Needless to say I was a wild one and had quite the attitude. Thank goodness that phase is long gone!
Those cookies….no words…