Hump Day Randoms

Because my brain is fried today…

1. Early morning workouts haven’t been as awesomely satisfying this week as they have in recent others. Not sure what the deal is, but my snooze button has been getting a little more attention than usual. Which is dangerous.

Maybe my problem is I don’t have a proper wake up call.(Source)

I really need to find a dude who’s willing to do this. So far, the only applicants for the position have driven me slightly crazy or completely weirded me out. Thank you for your consideration, however we are continuing to pursue candidates better qualified for the position at this time.

2. It’s that time of year again. You know what I’m talking about.

That time for the ice cream truck to roam our neighborhood.

*Shudders*

As a kid who grew up on a farm in a 300-person town, I never got to experience this phenomenon except for when we’d go to Kansas City to vist family. It was exciting and fun! Now? I cannot help but be disturbed by the creepy sounding jingle of a truck that calls for children to run towards and willingly follow in hopes of treats. Disturbing.

It also, for one reason or another, reminds me of the Stephen King movie, It. I hear the music. I think of clowns. I freak out. My roommate, on the other hand, could not have jumped out of her seat faster to run to the window and look for the ice cream man. I may have to keep a watchful eye on her through the summer. If she’s killed by a serial-killing clown in a street drain, I won’t be able to afford rent.

3. This puzzle took FOREVER.I know, I know. I’ve talked about it way too much. But it really did consume our lives until about 6:15 yesterday evening when the final piece was put into place. I told you I was having nightmares about this thing, right?

Serves me right for thinking the more pieces the better.

I think our reward for completion should be a trip to the real Las Vegas.

Who wants to fund the cause?

4. Swimsuit shopping is a humbling experience. I would not recommend H&M suits if you need a confidence booster. The reason I tried them on at this particular store is because they’re so cheap. Why not? Quality really isn’t necessary. I just need something that will last a few trips to the beach for a few years and I’m perfectly satisfied.

However, it turns out H&M suits are so cheap because they use as little material as possible. To adequately cover my lady parts, I was getting 2-3 sizes up. And even then I was not comfortable by any means.

I am not prude. But I was tempting fate and possible arrests for indecency had I bought something.

You may say, “Well Amy, why not try something more conservative than a bikini if you’re all up in arms about it?”

Well, I’ll tell you why. Another reason I headed to H&M was because they had a super sexy one piece just calling my name. It looked as if it would cover all necessary areas and still be cute with a deep cut in the front and sides. Fabulous!

No. Being gifted with a long torso does not transfer well in this case. I gave myself a wedgie in the process of trying on said one piece.

Never again.

Pretty sure the swimsuits I already own will be acceptable for another year.

5. I’m still putting hot sauce in everything.

Did you know hot sauce makes tuna wraps better?

Now you do.

Notice the quesadilla maker in the background. I think it’s jealous because it hasn’t been used in a few days. Sadness.

Takeaways from this post?

- Ryan Gosling needs to marry me.
- Stephen King ruined my childhood innocence.
- What was I thinking?!?!
- Nude beaches don’t seem like such a bad idea, after all.
- I still put that s*&! on everything.