Phone Randomness

The depths of my phone is a scary place. Most likely this is a similar situation to the depths of my brain.

You never know what you’re going to get.

And because things have been, like OMG SUPER CRAZY, and I can’t seem to put a string of thoughts together, here is a glimpse of random via my iPhone.

When it comes to first dates, I do everything I can to ensure it goes well. Enter my lucky socks:

And they worked!

No wonder I’ve had a string of bad dates. I’ve been wearing the wrong footwear. Who knew?

I also have a few other steps in my predate routine:

Just to make sure my nerves don’t get the best of me. It might not be the most mature solution. But it’s very much the tastiest.

And yes, that is a Tiger Beat with One Direction on the front. Long story. Not now.

Yesterday was a more stressful than usual day at work. Couple that with the fact that I was tired from the night before? Not an ideal situation.

But I have super sweet coworkers. And one practically dragged me out of the office by my hair to treat me to a little caffeine therapy:

Mocha lattes for everyone! She had a coupon. We had both skipped lunch. The 15 minute breather was the best thing we could have done.

After said busy day, grocery shopping still had to happen. Which was frustrating, because I was feeling super lazy.

My compromise was picking up ready-to-eat din din thanks to Trader Joe’s:

I really need to acquire some chopsticks. Like yesterday.

And unless you really want a picture of the burnt piece of toast I just ate, that’s really all to discuss here this morning. Sorry my mind is mush. It’s not my fault. Mostly.

Laters.

Behind Closed Doors

Teenage girls are a strange breed.

Pretty sure they scare the crap out of everyone. EVERYONE. Their parents. Their teachers. Their boyfriends. Even their other girl friends.

They. Are. Scary.

Emotional. Irrational. Vicious. Dramatic. Whiney.

Every other day is LIKE OMG THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE EVER EVER EVER.

Hopefully I’ve mellowed out a bit since then (er… *cough* 8 years ago…), but the fact of the matter is that I was one.

The teen years weren’t my favorite time of my life, even with my ability to cry at the drop of a hat. But it was bearable enough.

I bake a lot. So when a beater flies apart mid-mix, I don’t even think twice about it. I only cross my fingers I’ll be able to finish the mixing process before the other part of it flies away.

My parents may say otherwise. As the eldest of my brother and I, I took it upon myself to break my parents in. Test the waters. Push the limits.

Annoy the crap out of them.

My mom’s biggest complaint?

“Why do you always have to shut your bedroom door? What’s so secret? Why don’t you spend more time in the rest of the house with the family?”

I’ve never used greek yogurt in cookies before. But it was part of the promise of some of the softest cookies of all time. Is this considered healthifying them? I generally shy away from doing such things, but in this instance, curiousity totally killed the cat.

I think she feared the worst. Maybe I was writing a manifesto. Or smoking crack.

Which is extremely ridiculous. Everyone knows you can’t write a manifesto until you’re at least 21. Duh.

And why would the rest of my family want to hang out with me anyway? I was a moody and high strung teenage girl. I wouldn’t have wanted to hang out with me, either.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time I give her peace of mind.

The other part of the beater had perfect timing and died right at the end. R.I.P. hand mixer. It’s been a great 2 years.

Tell her what I was really doing behind closed doors.

Let the world know my secrets.

Ok. Here we go.

I was talking to my friends about boys on the phone. Trying on cute outfits for the weekend (because I was going to get to stay out until 11:00!). Putting on makeup.

And I was dancing. And lip syncing. To Britney. And Eminem. And Third Eye Blind. Because I don’t discriminate.

All of this in front of the mirror. Like a total dork.

That, my dear mother, is what I was doing.

Not that exciting.

PUFFY!

That doesn’t mean I didn’t sneak a scandelous top out of the house under what I was wearing or in my purse (the gas station was an awesome dressing room).

That doesn’t mean I didn’t scrounge up a few bucks to split a 6-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade from time to time with, like, 5 other girls.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t end up on a road trip halfway across the state using entirely gravel roads. (Did you know that was possible? I sure didn’t.)

This stuff is ridiculous. There’s plenty leftover and it’s sad how quickly I’ll go through it.

But as for what went on my room?

Singing and dancing. Strictly singing and dancing.

Disappointing, right?

Anyway…

Oatmeal cookies were a standard in my mom’s rotation of baked goods when I was growing up.

Cookie Butter glaze. This is what takes the cookies from good to great. Enough said.

However, she always used raisins in hers. Which are gross. So I’d only eat the cookie dough because the raisins were easy to pick out.

But now that I’m grown up, and sing and dance with no shame wherever I damn well please, I can make oatmeal cookiest without the raisins.

And maybe even add some cookie butter icing. Because I’m feeling spunky.

The recipe I used for the Biscoff-Glazed Soft Oatmeal Cookies was from Bake at 350 and I will have to say she wasn’t kidding- these really are the softest cookies ever!

Look at the glaze… flippin’ everywhere…. sigh…

Maybe next time I’ll throw in some chocolate chips. Because I felt very strange not using any chocolate at all. Especially considering I rarely call it a dessert unless chocolate is involved.

Anyway. Now that you all know my secrets, I must sign off and get a few things done. Like buy a new hand mixer.

Plus I feel my mother may be calling soon about that mentioned road trip. So I should free up some of my schedule.

Oops.

But before I go….

Yeah. I’m just super mean sometimes.

Happy Hump Day!

Bits n’ Pieces

1. My mom and 3 of my aunts are having a girls road trip up to Chicago to visit their respective daughters, some of which are also traveling into the city as a meeting point. If you live in Chicago and feel the weird shift in crazy, no worries- it’s just us.

2. My cousin requested Italian the night before our Sunday race (5k for me, half marathon for her). I love going to a nice Italian spot and enjoying a fabulous glass of wine. But funny thing- one of my favorite types of wine is sauvignon blanc. However, I rarely order it in a restaurant because “sauvignon” is a word I simply cannot seem to say. Chardonnay it is…

3. Has anyone watched “Adam Richman’s Best Sandwich in America” on the Travel Channel? I’m hooked. And I now need to go to The Fifty/50 to try their showcased sandwich. It involves wafflized mac and cheese. On the sandwich.

I’ve been to this bar before. Their vodka is exceptional. But now, I’m all about THE SANDWICH.

4. There’s a little feeling of regret in how I named the blog post today. My friend Mon often refers to her lady parts as her “lady bits” and it really grosses me out. Right up there with the word “moist”. Shudders all around.

5. The new job (started this week) is going great! I very very much miss my old coworkers. However, people in my new office are nice and I’m already on a project! It’s intimidating and scary. But in a good way.

6. My roommate is completely to blame for me getting sucked into this season of Teen Mom on MTV. No idea how she did it. But I feel as if I’m digressing as a person.

7. After a few days of my new life as a public transit commuter, it seems I’ve added a little more than a mile of walking to my daily routine. This makes me oh so happy. The commute isn’t as comparably shorter as originally thought, but I’m not sad because I spend that much time getting to be active. Because for reals, guys- who couldn’t use a little more movement in their day?

8. Time to walk out the door and get to work. Because there are important things to do before an office-wide hacky sack and coffee break. Yep. You read that right. This is my life now.

Happy Friday, kiddos!

Because You Requested It

Or because one person did.

I’m looking at you, Tiff.

But, after poking fun at a few certain search terms to get to my blog on Wednesday, I decided we’re due to analyze a few of the better ones.

Come join me!

1. “Ryan Gosling Eating Ice Cream”

Ok. So I understand I’ve posted a few times about Ryan Gosling. So I often get the “hey girl” search terms. But eating ice cream? Is there something erotic about this that I’m missing? Because I’ve gotten this one quite a few times.

(Source)

I don’t get it?

2. “What’s worse- marshmallow fluff or mcdonalds?”

In my humble opinion, that is like comparing apples to oranges. And, again in my humble opinion, they are both awesome. However, if you’re considering dinner, please don’t go solely with the fluff. Please.

And maybe throw in a McSalad.

3. “I don’t have a drinking problem.”

I don’t either! Congrats to us both!

4. “I’m a person who likes to spend time”

…? You gonna finish that thought? Spend time doing what? With your family? Napping? Taking long walks on the beach? Staring at the stars on a warm summer night? You’re so vague and mysterious! And frustrating! Clearly I’m attracted to you now. Call me maybe?

5. “Scabies Fun”

Last time I checked, scabies was not fun. From what I’ve heard, it’s actually quite unpleasant. Maybe you need to google this one some more.

6. “Moist Baked Oatmeal”

Alright, buddy. If I promise to give you the recipe for baked oatmeal that I’ve used in the past, would you never say that other word again? You’re grossing me out. 

Please and thank you.

Click HERE for the recipe link.

7. “Need to go to the store but I already took my bra off.”

I hear ya, sister. My advice? Wait until tomorrow.

8. “Jason Segel”

This is no surprise. I talk about how awesomely sexy he is on the regular. I’m just waiting for him to google his own name and stumble across my humble blog.

Call me DEFINITELY.

So there ya go, kids. Some mindless reading for the start of your extended weekend.

And wait- I’m not done yet. Here’s something pretty to look at (other than Ryan Gosling):Ooohhhhh…aaaahhhhhhh.

Stumbled across some pretty sidewalk art on a walk the other day. Another reason why I love spring- everything just becomes more cheery…

Speaking of cheery, I’m super excited to be packed and am counting down the hours until it’s time to leave the office and jump on the first train outta the Chi!

Laters, kids! Have a good Memorial Day Weekend!!

Something New Every Day

Oh hey there.

Um… so…

Well this is awkward.

I’m usually not this quiet.

I like to talk. A lot.

But sometimes, I just have weeks where I keep to myself more than usual. Let’s call it a “live and learn” week.

Because I’m also a firm believer you learn something new every day of your life.

Well. Maybe I’ll just share with you a few things I’ve learned in the past week…

1. Swedish chocolate is amazing and can solve most problems. I haven’t pinpointed it exactly, but it must be something in the processing (or lack of) of the chocolate. Mon had brought some back for me when she got back from a business trip. It’s been decided I will require candy every time she gets back from trips like this.

Yes. Like a child would.

2. There has been a new development in half marathon training. I crossed over to the other side.

Past the treadmills. Past the ellipticals. Past the locker rooms.

To the weight machines.

This, my friends, is actually a big deal. Turns out, at 5:30 in the morning, it’s less crowded and not nearly as intimidating.

My arms still hate me for this realization.

3. When on a date in the middle of the week, remember sushi does not do a great job of soaking up all of zee vino.

4. When it’s a rest day (conveniently after said date), cross your fingers you won’t wake up at your normal time to hit the gym (5:15) with a song in your head (Flo Rida’s “Wild One”) that will not allow you to go back to sleep for another hour and a half.

Sadness.

5. Grocery shopping before work is something that should happen ALL of the time. People are in generally good moods. They’ve all had coffee and it’s before the 8 hours of their dreams and soul being crushed. Why did it take so long to realize this?

6. I need to be better about communicating how important my friends are. I know I made a lil’ shout out on the last post to my girlies near and far, but maybe I should actually say it in real life. That way, I won’t turn into an emotional puddle when people tell me they’re moving and scare the living crap out of them.

Just a thought.

7. Snooki is pregnant. I learned that is something that scares the crap out of ME.

And THAT is something new every day. Yay!

What have YOU learned recently?

Friday Ramblings

1. The other night I had a dream that included being chased, scared, and the world was ending. It was exhausting. I woke up feeling unrested and distraught. How counterproductive.

2. Mars (the company, not the planet- just in case I need to specify) is planning to eliminate/downsize any candy they make that is over 250 calories by 2013. This means the Snickers is getting a bit of a slim down in attempts to make their products part of “more responsible snacking”.

I really like they choose to go this route instead of make a ridiculous and awful tasting “King Size Snickers Lite”. You know it’d be gross. I’m one of those crazies that prefers to not “healthify” things. Applesauce instead of butter in cookies? That sounds disgusting. I’d be sorry if it weren’t true.

Eat good food- just a bit less, not more “meh” food.

Your take on this?

3. A popular search to get to my blog this week is the question “what do you look like when you run?” or just “what I look like running”. Luckily for you, I have the answer to that!

With about 95% positivity, I can say “not good”.

No one does (except that stupid 5% that probably looks good doing EVERYTHING, and we hate them), so try to not fret about it.

4. There was a wire hanger stuck in my shower drain for no less than 30 minutes last night. Using a wire hanger to unclog the drain is a good idea. In theory. But my words of wisdom? Skip all that business, don’t be cheap, and hit up the Drain-o. It will save you from trying to explain the jagged hanger sticking out of the tub.

5. My roommate and I signed up for a Mardi Gras-themed pub crawl. We decide to take a break from Mizzou Champagne Brunch this weekend and this is what we get ourselves into? Sigh…

6. Before that pub crawl is another 7-miler. I’m shooting for 8. But I say that casually right now as I’m kickin’ back in my computer chair. So that statement is really more like a casual suggestion to myself being made while hopped up on caffeine.

7. I’m so excited for the extended weekend (President’s Day) that I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it! Or maybe it’s the coffee. Definitely had an extra cup this morning.

It could be the coffee…

Later, everyone! Both of my bosses are out of the office and I’ve got to start getting the conference room ready for a dance off.

Kidding!

Maybe.

Random Thoughts For Your Weekend

1. Hocking up loogies in the break room is frowned upon.

2. No really. It is. So don’t do it over and over again. I’m serious.

3. I don’t think I’m going to believe Punxsutawney Phil this year. He can suck it. Because I’m looking forward to spring. And also because it was forecasted that this would be the worst winter Chicago has seen in decades and I’m yet to see any real evidence of this (knock on wood).

4. Rarely do I comment on my stance on political issues and controversial things of that nature, but I’m rather saddened and disappointed with the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation. There’s a common goal involved. Makes sense to work together, yes? I just don’t understand how you can achieve the goal of “a world without breast cancer” unless you plan on attempting to help everyone trying to prevent it.

5. Tonight I’ll be spending my night prepping for tomorrow’s big rivalry game: Mizzou vs. KU! What does this include? Running by the grocery store for a bottle of bubbly and baking donuts. Sure, the game isn’t until 8:00 pm, but hey- tradition is tradition. Brunch time is set for much later than usual, but it’s still brunch. And that is what matters.

6. I found vh1′s The TRL Decade as I was at the gym last night doing my elliptical/stairmill combo (20 on each). It was a look back to highlights and the significance of TRL over its time on the air. It made me reminisce. And it made me feel super old.

7. Personally, I think closely tailing people in traffic is SUPER annoying. But the opposite is just as bad, if not worse. Why? Because when the person in front of you has about 15 feet in between them and the next car and about 10 cars sneak their way into your lane in front of them on your 7-mile trip on the interstate? It’s easy to get frustrated.

In summary?

Also:

Mizzou rocks.

As does Friday. Go get your party on.

Inside My Head

Hey kids.

I really don’t have much to say today. Why, you ask?

Well. I’ve been doing a lot of the same thing over and over. It doesn’t provide much good material.

Nothing new to notate in the workout department. Still sneaking in a little weights or yoga here and there in with my cardio obsession to mix it up. Big whoop.

Nothing new to notate in the kitchen area. Eating leftovers and trying not to buy anything before going out-of-town for the weekend. Bit whoop.

So maybe I can just fill your head with random useless knowledge?

I mean… more random and useless knowledge than usual?  (Let’s be honest.)

Ok, so here it goes…

1. I had a dream about Ryan Gosling the other night. It was really strange to me, even in the dream, however I did not ask him to leave. ;) RG used to really creep me out. But it wasn’t his fault. I had a super creepy neighbor that looked like him. Very similar in both the face and the torso region. I know this because I don’t think the kid owned a shirt. Or at least he didn’t when he casually “stopped by”. This behavior really was only welcomed for about 2 weeks. Then it got weird. Plus it got cold. Which made it even more weird than before.

Moral of the story? Bad associations are not fair to anyone. Sorry Ryan. I’m willing to give you a second chance now. Give me a call so we can hash this whole thing out. Thanks.

Another moral of the story?  Lock your doors.

2. I will make one mention of the workout session last night. And that mention is out of frustration. I mean- is it necessary to have three treadmills out of commission because you’re cleaning them during the PEAK of the crowded time at the gym? Really? Why not do such things at, I dunno, 9 or 10 in the morning when half the crowd is there? It’s common sense, people. Common sense.

Oh and then I ran 4.2 miles. But we’re not talking about that. Remember?

3. I’m tired of the Bieber baby drama. And wish they’d stop referring to it as a “love child”. Clearly love was not even a factor in the situation.

And am I out of line when I say I kind of hope the baby really is his?

Yeah. You heard me.

4. Christmas is coming and I’m SO not ready. For that and the holidays in general. Walking through Target this week gave me anxiety. And when someone mentioned Thanksgiving being only two weeks away, my heart stopped for a second or two. My only goal this year is to not be THAT person buying gifts the day or two before Christmas over my lunch with the rest of the masses. Not like that’s ever happened before…

5. More leftover sweet potatoes were consumed last night. And as I ate in total contentment, I wondered if my overconsumption would eventually lead to an orangish glow in skin color?  I heard that happens when too many carrots are consumed. Is this the case? Or a myth? Too lazy to google…

It’s almost welcomed- I’m going to a wedding over the weekend and the extra glow may be nice.

So there you have it. A peek into this mind of madness.

Scary, right?

PS- You still have oodles of time (yes, oodles) to enter my Manna Organics Giveaway! So… like… you know… do it!

So here’s the million dollar question of the day: What celebrity totally creeps you out? Let’s discuss.

Late To The Party

Some days, it really is all about ME.

No really… it is. Because Jess totally tagged me with this lil’ blogger award that asks me to write about my favorite thing… myself!Actually, my favorite thing to write about is baking, chocolate and sugar. Or any combination of the three. But being allowed some bragging/storytelling? Why not… I can surely tell you 10 random things:

1. My nose flairs an obnoxious amount. I blame it on playing clarinet when I was in junior high. Don’t try to convince me otherwise.

2. I get up an extra 15 minutes early so I can watch the news in the morning during breakfast (current obsession being coffee and a scrambled egg wrap). Yes. At approximately 6:00 in the morning. Like an old person. Only thing missing is the bifocals. Because I already shake my head to all the reports of violence and car accidents. Crazy kids…

3. I like drinking soda every once in a while, but am very picky about how I have it. I will drink Sprite or Diet Coke out of a can- as cold as you can get it without getting that gross layer of ice on top- or only Sprite out of a soda fountain. Soda in plastic bottles don’t exist in my world*.

*This excludes how adult beverages are prepared. Vodka makes me a little more flexible with such matters…

4. Sometimes I’m very quiet in public settings. That’s not so much because of shyness, but because I’m very content spending my time people watching. Or “observing my surroundings” if that makes it any less rude-sounding.

5. I hate pedicures. HATE them. But see them as an occasional necessary evil as to have healthier, happier feet. I say occasional because it’s hard to justify shelling out good money for an hour of pure torture.

6. On the topic of things I dislike, let’s also list off kiss cams at sporting events. PDA is gross and I do not need to see it enlarged for an entire stadium of people. Possibly one of the reasons why I enjoy Wrigley Field so much: No jumbo tron = No kiss cam = I sit in contentment.

And clearly it’s all about me.

7. I heart pictures, but am awful at posing for them. This last Sunday afternoon was spent with Annie and Mon and Mon’s friend who is trying to expand his portfolio. Free photo shoot? Why not? But for real. I’m cheesy and awkward in front of a camera. It’s totally wince-worthy. And don’t get me started about how horrific my “serious face” is…This is my one in a million that is “serious” without looking like I have digestive issues or something of equal awfulness.

Patrick was awesome with us three girls. He shot all of us individually and then the three of us together. Poor thing didn’t know how weird/kooky/excitable/gossipy we’d get when together that long…. You don’t want to know what we were talking about during this picture…

After a long and exhausting day of model behavior (cocaine and cigarettes excluded), we decided to bring ourselves back down to normalcy with a trip to Sweet Tomatoes salad bar:Ok fine, we had mid-sized salads in order to keep room for dessert. Ice cream and salted caramel pumpkin cake. Sigh…

Oh yeah… there was a list going on or something, wasn’t there?

8. I think Uggs are ugly and refuse to buy them or anything similar to them. They look quite comfy- I won’t lie. But they’re still ugly. And I could have bought 2 pairs of cute shoes for the money you threw down the drain for the one ugly pair. #HarshReality

9. My favorite Christmas song is “All I Want for Christmas” by Mariah Carey. There’s a radio station I always seem to find on the drive back to Missouri for the holidays that will play that song for an hour straight. I see nothing wrong with tuning in for the entire hour.

10. If introduced at a party, I’ll remember your face, but not remember your name until the 2nd or 3rd time around. This can lead to really awkward social situations.

Then again, name a moment where I’m not awkward…

You can’t.

Aaaaaannnnnddddd….. The End.

Good luck with your Tuesday.

Peace out.

The Kitchen Is Closed

Happy Weekend!

Just a quick check-in before me and one of my besties head out for a day o’ fun involving shopping in the morning and some serious party time in Wrigleyville for the Cards/Cubs series.

A long day fo’ sho. Note to self: brew another pot of coffee as soon as I’m done typing this.

In regards to my last post, yes, you all are right- Stephanie is awesome. I have high hopes to head to Boston sooner than later to kick her butt in some Mario Kart.

That’s right- it’s a Mario Kart challenge and I am not afraid.

And thanks for the date well wishes.

It went well. Even though the actual dinner was a disaster.

This IS me we’re talking about- Murphy’s Law strikes again.

We went to the cutest little tapas place. But because of my super late lunch/job performance review (yeah, wasn’t kidding about being stressed out this week) and because he’s just weird, we weren’t hungry. By the time we were, it was already time for the comedy show at Second City, so we just decided to wait it out.

The show was fantastic. Yet over 3 hours long.

Afterwards?

“I could eat now.” Doesn’t matter who said it first. We both felt it.

So I suggested a pub by my place. Kitchen closed.

I suggested a pizza place about a half-mile down the road. Kitchen closed.

I suggested a Mexican spot back in the direction we came from that surely was open because it’s open at 4AM on the weekends.

Closed.

Really?

After walking around my neighborhood for almost an hour, we got desperate.

The liquor store was open. An over-priced six pack and frozen pizza?

Well… that’ll do…

The pizza tasted like cardboard.

At least the beer was pretty good. But he picked that out. So I pretty much failed on that front, too.

But we rolled with the punches. And despite the sad showing of eats, the conversation flowed, a good time was had, and we decided we can actually tolerate each other enough for a second date.

You may not find this that big of a deal, but considering he was the first person I told the whole running-into-the-door story to, and he didn’t go running scared, this is a win.

And considering he laughed uncontrollably first, and then asked if I was ok over an hour later, I decided he may actually be my type.

Sadistic humor is a weird common ground.

But you take what you can get.