The Full Target Experience

So Tuesday was a break from my normal routine because I had errands to run in the suburbs I no longer live in.

Funny how half my life still seems to happen out there instead of “in here” (the actual city).

Not the point of my story.

One thing I was able to squeeze in between a haircut and dinner with my friend Mon was a trip to Target.

Along with running, Target is a sick addiction of mine.

Still not the point of my story.

So I was walking through the parking lot. Minding my own business. A car is pulling one of those “instead of going all the way down the lane I’m just going to cut through the parking spaces to get another lane over” moves. The lady was being super careful as to not hit cars while merging into the lane because her neck was all the way craned one way.

However, she was NOT being careful as to not hit the things in front of her. Like me.

Neither she or her 5 kids would have noticed me had I not screamed for dear life while jumping as hard as I can out of the way. Which is quite an accomplishment, being as how my heart stopped when I realized I was possibly getting hit.

She barely flinched or acknowledged my existence. I would have been left for dead. In the Target parking lot. My claim to fame would have been my 30-second spot on the news that night.

“In tonight’s news, a female Chicago resident found dead in Target parking lot. Reports show she seems to have been hit by an idiot driver who fled the scene. Girl was discovered by Target worker after the store closed. She was surrounded by shopping bags and approximately 6 boxes of cereal that were flung up and exploded open. Cheerios are still being found and picked up on the scene. Such a tragic incident- such a waste of food.”

Stupid Tuesdays.

And, for the record, one box of cereal was for the roommate.

We won’t discuss the other five. I hoard cereal. We’ve accepted this as a quirk.

Ok maybe we can mention it just a little. Because I’m obsessed with this stuff:It’s called “krave” for a reason, folks.

And it’s my new snack for after-dinner tv time. Only to be consumed after a well-balanced day, of course. That includes a solid 4.5-mile run at an 8:18 pace (which seems to be a trend these days). And a healthy dinner in attempts to not wreck my workout (with the exception of the cereal made of crack I just displayed above).Lookit! I made salmon all on my own!!! My salmon sensei will be so proud. And I can officially cross that one off the ol’ 2012 bucket list.

Sure… it wasn’t my favorite cut (it was a thin sockeye smoked salmon prepackaged at Trader Joe’s) and I may have overdone it. But let’s not be picky. It was edible, maybe even tasty, and I didn’t give myself food poisoning. We’re counting it as a win!

Speaking of the resolutions list, still working on that whole “marry a prince” thing. It’s proving to be harder than I originally thought. Darn.