The Full Target Experience

So Tuesday was a break from my normal routine because I had errands to run in the suburbs I no longer live in.

Funny how half my life still seems to happen out there instead of “in here” (the actual city).

Not the point of my story.

One thing I was able to squeeze in between a haircut and dinner with my friend Mon was a trip to Target.

Along with running, Target is a sick addiction of mine.

Still not the point of my story.

So I was walking through the parking lot. Minding my own business. A car is pulling one of those “instead of going all the way down the lane I’m just going to cut through the parking spaces to get another lane over” moves. The lady was being super careful as to not hit cars while merging into the lane because her neck was all the way craned one way.

However, she was NOT being careful as to not hit the things in front of her. Like me.

Neither she or her 5 kids would have noticed me had I not screamed for dear life while jumping as hard as I can out of the way. Which is quite an accomplishment, being as how my heart stopped when I realized I was possibly getting hit.

She barely flinched or acknowledged my existence. I would have been left for dead. In the Target parking lot. My claim to fame would have been my 30-second spot on the news that night.

“In tonight’s news, a female Chicago resident found dead in Target parking lot. Reports show she seems to have been hit by an idiot driver who fled the scene. Girl was discovered by Target worker after the store closed. She was surrounded by shopping bags and approximately 6 boxes of cereal that were flung up and exploded open. Cheerios are still being found and picked up on the scene. Such a tragic incident- such a waste of food.”

Stupid Tuesdays.

And, for the record, one box of cereal was for the roommate.

We won’t discuss the other five. I hoard cereal. We’ve accepted this as a quirk.

Ok maybe we can mention it just a little. Because I’m obsessed with this stuff:It’s called “krave” for a reason, folks.

And it’s my new snack for after-dinner tv time. Only to be consumed after a well-balanced day, of course. That includes a solid 4.5-mile run at an 8:18 pace (which seems to be a trend these days). And a healthy dinner in attempts to not wreck my workout (with the exception of the cereal made of crack I just displayed above).Lookit! I made salmon all on my own!!! My salmon sensei will be so proud. And I can officially cross that one off the ol’ 2012 bucket list.

Sure… it wasn’t my favorite cut (it was a thin sockeye smoked salmon prepackaged at Trader Joe’s) and I may have overdone it. But let’s not be picky. It was edible, maybe even tasty, and I didn’t give myself food poisoning. We’re counting it as a win!

Speaking of the resolutions list, still working on that whole “marry a prince” thing. It’s proving to be harder than I originally thought. Darn.

37 Responses

  1. I saw that cereal and was wondering about it!!

  2. I also live in the city but it definitely feels like half of my life is lived out in the burbs where my parents live!! I’m really happy you didn’t get hit by a car… I think mom drivers are the craziest drivers!

  3. Target…brutal ;) I’m not even going to buy that cereal, I know I’d go through it in two days. Max.

  4. Thanks for not getting hit. Stupid Lady.

    That cereal definitely looks crave-worthy. I better not pick up a box. I’d probably finish it the same day I bought it.

  5. You should write the news. I’d maybe watch it then.

  6. That’s terrible. I hope you threw something at her car. I really wonder how some people even have a drivers license.

  7. Woah I wish I never read this post so I wouldn’t know about that cereal! haha.

  8. I would go to Target everyday if my wallet allowed!! LOL- at the recap of your parking lot adventure. Not funny of course that you were almost hit but your playback was comical! :)

  9. I am glad you are here to tell the tale. Target is awesome, but Target parking lots are horrifying.

  10. WHAT!!!! Oh my gosh I NEED that cereal!!!

  11. People are such bad drivers, it’s amazing. Glad you didn’t make the 10 o’clock news, girl!

    And there’s chocolate IN the cereal pieces? I swear, I was laying in bed last night thinking, “I’m not losing weight for a reason…hm. Maybe I need to give up my mini bowl of cereal at night and see if that doesn’t work?” For some, it’s ice cream or cookies. For me, it’s cereal. Officially, you are hindering my weight loss efforts! BOO!

  12. I love salmon with miso sauce. Yay for you crossing off an item to the bucket list!

  13. Damn, I am not a cereal eater, but that does look delicious. Congrats on cooking salmon for yourself! Oh and on not getting hit by a car.

  14. OMG. That is traumatizing! I would have followed her into the store and told her the deal. Or left a scathing note on her windshield. Either way, I’m glad you’re ok my love.
    And holy crap that cereal sounds so good. I really need to hit up Tarjay in the next few days to up my cereal game (need the PB cheerios) and peep the Chobani scene to see if they have the apple cinnamon deals. And should I happen to peruse the clearance section, well so be it.

  15. Crazy Target soccer moms…
    I’ll be on the lookout for that cereal. I finally got the pb Cheerios and it’s good!

  16. Woohoo you made fish all by yourself! Such a big day. And now I bet you’re going to start making that as often as you make brussels sprouts these days. :) Glad you didn’t die! Parking lots are the WORST.

  17. I hate that! I admit that sometimes I make driving mistakes, but if I almost hit a person I would at least be apologetic. People these days. I’m glad you and and your cereal were safe.

  18. I love all the new Cheerios flavors, too! The chocolate is amazing.
    Glad you didn’t die! :)

  19. That cereal could be a real dangerous thing in my kitchen!

    And I understand that people sometimes make mistakes while driving, but at least ask if the person you almost hit is ok. And if you don’t want to do that…just wave or something. Sheesh! Glad you’re ok!

  20. Close call girl, close call. I think your brush with death warrants a new look a life…ponder it over a bottle of vino and some Krave.

  21. As of yesterday I am on a target break, solely for financial reasons, but the fact that it almost killed you will help me keep disciplined, ha.

    I have three fish recipes for you! I just keep forgetting to post them. They are very easy and yummy! Stay tuned…

  22. Where have all the good princes gone, anyways? I’m still trying to figure it out.

  23. Don’t let that cray cray lady ruin your Target experience. Lunatics out there.

    Ah, the smell of Target is mesmerizing. Krave??! Do they come in PB? Please jeebus.

    I cook salmon at least once a week. Sometimes a fancy salmon burrito. Oh so good!

  24. So glad you didn’t make the 10 O’clock news,because you make me laugh everyday, my goodness bad driviers blahhhhh…

    I would hate to be the one looking for a Prince these days but I’m sure yours will come around soon!! :)

  25. sorry for the misspelled word (drivers)

  26. Ugh stupid soccer moms! lol Gosh I am glad you are okay and your cereal is nice and safe! Coz that’s obviously the most important thing..haha

    I havent tried Krave but it looks like I need to jump on the’s like the new cool kid in town lol.

  27. Target and Whole Foods parking lots are nightmares. I’m glad you weren’t left for dead!

  28. You never let me down with cereals! I used to think I was the queen of cereals, but I crown you for sure! I am really surprised with what I’ve seen in parking lots lately. I don’t get why people feel like they don’t have to pay attention or follow rules in a parking lot. I’m glad you’re ok.

  29. You poor thing! You must have been so upset about that stupid driver! Are you okay?

    That cereal looks so good!

  30. Any time you can cook without food poisoning as a result is a success in my book.

    And don’t even get me started on Target….so addicted to that place!

  31. ohmygooooosh I want to try Krave!!!!! as a snack b/c im cereal challenged! I think its b/c i forget that i have coconut milk on hand and never have real milk.. that keeps me from cerealing it up. or im just lazy. or stupid? bahhh i love cereal please remind me to eat it!

    end of rant.

    also. end of glass of wine =) I apologize! <3

  32. Seriously, Aldi had that EXACT cereal at some point last year, I bought one box and it was delicious and then I was NEVER able to find it again and it made me sad. I wonder if it’s actually the same cereal and Kellogg’s was testing it out at Aldi? Either way I will have to go buy a box or 10. PS glad you didn’t actually get hit.

  33. Yikes! Good thing you jumped out of the way! I swear peoples’ IQ drops a hundred points when they are in parking lots (especially after shows/concerts).

  34. I used to love going to Target but once we moved, the closet one is always like a ZOO and I now cannot wait to get in and out asap!

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